This past week has without a doubt been one for the books. It was an insane week and for once, I'm not sad to see Monday roll around.
Last Monday, Ava and I were gearing up to take Jake the Tank on a long walk. Not that it makes a difference, this dog I swear has a reserve of energy. So, Ava's in the stroller, Jake's leash is on my wrist and I'm gearing up the Ipod to track our distance. Out of nowhere, Jake takes off full force. He knocks me to the ground and WOULDN'T YOU KNOW: Ipod falls to the concrete. The one part that isn't covered by the case, the face, shatters. Completely shatters. Point 1 for the Universe.
Tuesday was Riley's birthday. Tuesday we were supposed to go to the Ranger game. Tuesday the skies opened up and hailed baseball size. We did not go to the Ranger game. Point 2 for the Universe. On my way home from school, thank GOD kids were not with me, I was hit by an 18 wheeler. Damage was minimal, just the passenger side mirror and some body damage. It would have been far worse. Point 3 for the Universe.
Thursday we took the car to meet with the insurance claims adjuster. Wouldn't ya know that the estimate is 20 bucks over our deductible? Figures. Go ahead point 4. Take it. Point 4 for the Universe.
Then comes Friday. The kids wanted to swim. I was all set to take them. I went down to the garage to find Ava's floaties. I came in contact with a broken ceramic dish that sliced my hand right open. Eight stitches and no pain meds later, I'm ready for this week to kick rocks. Can this day be worth 2 points? I think so. There you go Universe, points 5 and 6.
At this point, I tap out. I stayed in a bubble for Saturday and Sunday and patiently waited for Monday to roll around. Come on Monday, make this a good week. Sorry, there's not a lot of interesting kid stories. Riley did inform me that the Pilgrims died a really really really really REALLY long time ago. She guesses about 1976 is when they died. Man, that WAS a really long time ago. ;) Have a great week everyone!!
Monday, May 30, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Explosion
So, we have a dog. A new dog. Jake the Dog. He was Chad's birthday present to himself. Jake to Dog is...special. He's had issues with me since the beginning, but late last week to the cake. After "poop gate" with the dog crate, I knew it was only going to get worse. A few days ago, I took Jake out to take care of his morning business. We came back inside but Jake kept whimpering like he needed to go back out. I was standing up to take him back out when he EXploded. Poo everywhere! It was more poo than I have ever seen in my life. I consulted my friend, Heather, and she said it was time to take him to the vet. I take him to the vet and he performs some tests. He comes back in the exam room to let me know all tests came back negative. While that news is great, I wanted to know what the heck was wrong with Jake...the Dog. The vet very calmly looked at me and said, "It appears that Jake has an anxiety disorder. Anytime he gets stressed or overwhelmed, this is going to happen. Try to remove all stress from your house." All I could do was look at this guy. Are you KIDDING me?!?!?! I have a zoo at my house. I tried to match the vet's calmness and explain there was really no way to remove stress from our lives. He then told me to suck it up and just hope he outgrows it. Great. Jake is now known as E.D.D.-Explosive Diarhea Dog. Awesome.
Riley had an awesome journal entry this week too. I can't even describe it, I just have to type it.
I can't wait until I'm a senior at Vampire High and since I'am at school in the day time, Im pretty sleepy and vampires are tired at sunrise. It's time for me to go a different school. I hid my wings, but I'll never twll who is not a vampire. I fly to vampire school and always drink blood.
I walked in the cafeteria on Friday and smelled scrumptious succulent human pizza and always blood to drink. I know it's weird, but when I write this I am at vapire school. I was with my vap pals at flying class.
I can't even express how much I love the creativity this child has! Her journal is FULL of stories much like this!
Riley had an awesome journal entry this week too. I can't even describe it, I just have to type it.
I can't wait until I'm a senior at Vampire High and since I'am at school in the day time, Im pretty sleepy and vampires are tired at sunrise. It's time for me to go a different school. I hid my wings, but I'll never twll who is not a vampire. I fly to vampire school and always drink blood.
I walked in the cafeteria on Friday and smelled scrumptious succulent human pizza and always blood to drink. I know it's weird, but when I write this I am at vapire school. I was with my vap pals at flying class.
I can't even express how much I love the creativity this child has! Her journal is FULL of stories much like this!
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Spring Fever
The kiddos are definetly ready for summer to get here! We have been playing outside non-stop! Except for today, since it is May 1st, and a chilly 48 degrees. Really?!?!
At Riley's school, there is a small garden area full of trees and flowers. She calls it the "fairy garden." She and her frinds love to go there after school and play with all the "fairies" that live there. She and a few of her friends went earlier this week and were playing happily until Riley, very seriously, ran up to me with some grave news. "Mom," she said, "do you see the dark shadow over there?" "Yes," I said. "The tree is blocking out the sun." Apparently not. "No mom. When a shadow falls over the garden, it means something bad has happened. Yesterday, there were 345 fairies in the fairy garden. Today 100 have gone missing and now we only have 3." Um...you do the math. Something must have happened to all the others. We looked and we looked, but finally had to leave with a heartbroken Riley because her fairies are near extinction. Hopefully the fairies can procreate to get their numbers back up. However, I'm interested to see what happens, since I've been informed there's no such thing as boy fairies.
Riley also has her heart set on being a fashion designer when she grows up if the transformation to fairy doesn't happen relatively soon. She sketches clothes at school all day and brings them home. She even went so far last night as to sketch out a few of her designs and address an envelope to Paris. She plans to mail her designs off to Paris and get an internship at the ripe age of almost seven. I personally think her refusal to fail is pretty awesome!
At the grocery earlier this week, we picked up individually wrapped prunes. My thinking was they are sweet like fruit snacks, but far healthier for the kids. The kids demanded one in the store so I happily distributed one to each. Riley ate hers no sweat and said it was good. Ava looked at it, said, "Uh...you gave me poop," and handed it back. I then returned it to her and said not poop, it's like a fruit snack. In her loudest "inside voice" Ava informed me, "This is not a fruit snack. This is poop in a wrapper. I don't eat poop in a wrapper. Poop goes in the toilet." A) It was hilarious. B) If she knows where it goes, I really wish she'd follow her own instrutctions.
On the same grocery trip, Ava decided she needed the Pop Ice popcicles. You know the ones. Neon colored, long popcicle in a pastic wrapper. Anyway, they come in netted bags. When Ava says net though, it comes out "nut." She then got confused and just started yelling through the store, "I want my nuts in a bag. I WANT my NUTS in A BAG!!!!!!" Oy. I can never go back to that store.
Now, for the most interesting story of the week. This one comes courtesy of "man's best friend," Jake. OH. MY. GOSH. Friday night, he was placed in his crate around midnight when I went to bed. He normally sleeps in there until 6 or 7 when he gets up for the day. Fine. Not too long at all, right? Wrong. When he woke me up Saturday morning, I realized he smelled horrible. I realized the stench was due to him doing his business, both #1 and #2, in his crate. Apparently, he then proceeded to roll in it. When it was clear this was a two part problem, I gave him to Riley on his leash to take out, so I could carry his crate down to hose it off. As Jake bounded down the stairs, he happily tromped poo all over EVER. SINGLE. STAIR. I kept calm through all of this. Fine, I thought. I can handle this. No big. I'll clean it up once I'm done cleaning the crate. So, Ry is taking Jake down, I'm carrying this enormous crate. Somehow, Jake gets loose, trips me, and I drop the dirty crate. It goes END OVER END down the stairs resulting in what I can only describe as a poop explosion. All over the stairs, the walls, the doors, the ceiling!! It was horrible. I didn't even know where to start. I stood, frozen on the stairs half-sobbing while throwing up in my mouth because it was so disgusting and the smell could have knocked me over. Riley's eyes got really big. She quickly snatched Jake's leash and said, "Come on boy. We need to leave. You're about to be dinner." So true kid, so true. Eventually I got everything cleaned up, but if that happens again, Jake will have serious consequences.
Hope everyone has a great weekend!
At Riley's school, there is a small garden area full of trees and flowers. She calls it the "fairy garden." She and her frinds love to go there after school and play with all the "fairies" that live there. She and a few of her friends went earlier this week and were playing happily until Riley, very seriously, ran up to me with some grave news. "Mom," she said, "do you see the dark shadow over there?" "Yes," I said. "The tree is blocking out the sun." Apparently not. "No mom. When a shadow falls over the garden, it means something bad has happened. Yesterday, there were 345 fairies in the fairy garden. Today 100 have gone missing and now we only have 3." Um...you do the math. Something must have happened to all the others. We looked and we looked, but finally had to leave with a heartbroken Riley because her fairies are near extinction. Hopefully the fairies can procreate to get their numbers back up. However, I'm interested to see what happens, since I've been informed there's no such thing as boy fairies.
Riley also has her heart set on being a fashion designer when she grows up if the transformation to fairy doesn't happen relatively soon. She sketches clothes at school all day and brings them home. She even went so far last night as to sketch out a few of her designs and address an envelope to Paris. She plans to mail her designs off to Paris and get an internship at the ripe age of almost seven. I personally think her refusal to fail is pretty awesome!
At the grocery earlier this week, we picked up individually wrapped prunes. My thinking was they are sweet like fruit snacks, but far healthier for the kids. The kids demanded one in the store so I happily distributed one to each. Riley ate hers no sweat and said it was good. Ava looked at it, said, "Uh...you gave me poop," and handed it back. I then returned it to her and said not poop, it's like a fruit snack. In her loudest "inside voice" Ava informed me, "This is not a fruit snack. This is poop in a wrapper. I don't eat poop in a wrapper. Poop goes in the toilet." A) It was hilarious. B) If she knows where it goes, I really wish she'd follow her own instrutctions.
On the same grocery trip, Ava decided she needed the Pop Ice popcicles. You know the ones. Neon colored, long popcicle in a pastic wrapper. Anyway, they come in netted bags. When Ava says net though, it comes out "nut." She then got confused and just started yelling through the store, "I want my nuts in a bag. I WANT my NUTS in A BAG!!!!!!" Oy. I can never go back to that store.
Now, for the most interesting story of the week. This one comes courtesy of "man's best friend," Jake. OH. MY. GOSH. Friday night, he was placed in his crate around midnight when I went to bed. He normally sleeps in there until 6 or 7 when he gets up for the day. Fine. Not too long at all, right? Wrong. When he woke me up Saturday morning, I realized he smelled horrible. I realized the stench was due to him doing his business, both #1 and #2, in his crate. Apparently, he then proceeded to roll in it. When it was clear this was a two part problem, I gave him to Riley on his leash to take out, so I could carry his crate down to hose it off. As Jake bounded down the stairs, he happily tromped poo all over EVER. SINGLE. STAIR. I kept calm through all of this. Fine, I thought. I can handle this. No big. I'll clean it up once I'm done cleaning the crate. So, Ry is taking Jake down, I'm carrying this enormous crate. Somehow, Jake gets loose, trips me, and I drop the dirty crate. It goes END OVER END down the stairs resulting in what I can only describe as a poop explosion. All over the stairs, the walls, the doors, the ceiling!! It was horrible. I didn't even know where to start. I stood, frozen on the stairs half-sobbing while throwing up in my mouth because it was so disgusting and the smell could have knocked me over. Riley's eyes got really big. She quickly snatched Jake's leash and said, "Come on boy. We need to leave. You're about to be dinner." So true kid, so true. Eventually I got everything cleaned up, but if that happens again, Jake will have serious consequences.
Hope everyone has a great weekend!
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