This past week has without a doubt been one for the books. It was an insane week and for once, I'm not sad to see Monday roll around.
Last Monday, Ava and I were gearing up to take Jake the Tank on a long walk. Not that it makes a difference, this dog I swear has a reserve of energy. So, Ava's in the stroller, Jake's leash is on my wrist and I'm gearing up the Ipod to track our distance. Out of nowhere, Jake takes off full force. He knocks me to the ground and WOULDN'T YOU KNOW: Ipod falls to the concrete. The one part that isn't covered by the case, the face, shatters. Completely shatters. Point 1 for the Universe.
Tuesday was Riley's birthday. Tuesday we were supposed to go to the Ranger game. Tuesday the skies opened up and hailed baseball size. We did not go to the Ranger game. Point 2 for the Universe. On my way home from school, thank GOD kids were not with me, I was hit by an 18 wheeler. Damage was minimal, just the passenger side mirror and some body damage. It would have been far worse. Point 3 for the Universe.
Thursday we took the car to meet with the insurance claims adjuster. Wouldn't ya know that the estimate is 20 bucks over our deductible? Figures. Go ahead point 4. Take it. Point 4 for the Universe.
Then comes Friday. The kids wanted to swim. I was all set to take them. I went down to the garage to find Ava's floaties. I came in contact with a broken ceramic dish that sliced my hand right open. Eight stitches and no pain meds later, I'm ready for this week to kick rocks. Can this day be worth 2 points? I think so. There you go Universe, points 5 and 6.
At this point, I tap out. I stayed in a bubble for Saturday and Sunday and patiently waited for Monday to roll around. Come on Monday, make this a good week. Sorry, there's not a lot of interesting kid stories. Riley did inform me that the Pilgrims died a really really really really REALLY long time ago. She guesses about 1976 is when they died. Man, that WAS a really long time ago. ;) Have a great week everyone!!
Monday, May 30, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Explosion
So, we have a dog. A new dog. Jake the Dog. He was Chad's birthday present to himself. Jake to Dog is...special. He's had issues with me since the beginning, but late last week to the cake. After "poop gate" with the dog crate, I knew it was only going to get worse. A few days ago, I took Jake out to take care of his morning business. We came back inside but Jake kept whimpering like he needed to go back out. I was standing up to take him back out when he EXploded. Poo everywhere! It was more poo than I have ever seen in my life. I consulted my friend, Heather, and she said it was time to take him to the vet. I take him to the vet and he performs some tests. He comes back in the exam room to let me know all tests came back negative. While that news is great, I wanted to know what the heck was wrong with Jake...the Dog. The vet very calmly looked at me and said, "It appears that Jake has an anxiety disorder. Anytime he gets stressed or overwhelmed, this is going to happen. Try to remove all stress from your house." All I could do was look at this guy. Are you KIDDING me?!?!?! I have a zoo at my house. I tried to match the vet's calmness and explain there was really no way to remove stress from our lives. He then told me to suck it up and just hope he outgrows it. Great. Jake is now known as E.D.D.-Explosive Diarhea Dog. Awesome.
Riley had an awesome journal entry this week too. I can't even describe it, I just have to type it.
I can't wait until I'm a senior at Vampire High and since I'am at school in the day time, Im pretty sleepy and vampires are tired at sunrise. It's time for me to go a different school. I hid my wings, but I'll never twll who is not a vampire. I fly to vampire school and always drink blood.
I walked in the cafeteria on Friday and smelled scrumptious succulent human pizza and always blood to drink. I know it's weird, but when I write this I am at vapire school. I was with my vap pals at flying class.
I can't even express how much I love the creativity this child has! Her journal is FULL of stories much like this!
Riley had an awesome journal entry this week too. I can't even describe it, I just have to type it.
I can't wait until I'm a senior at Vampire High and since I'am at school in the day time, Im pretty sleepy and vampires are tired at sunrise. It's time for me to go a different school. I hid my wings, but I'll never twll who is not a vampire. I fly to vampire school and always drink blood.
I walked in the cafeteria on Friday and smelled scrumptious succulent human pizza and always blood to drink. I know it's weird, but when I write this I am at vapire school. I was with my vap pals at flying class.
I can't even express how much I love the creativity this child has! Her journal is FULL of stories much like this!
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Spring Fever
The kiddos are definetly ready for summer to get here! We have been playing outside non-stop! Except for today, since it is May 1st, and a chilly 48 degrees. Really?!?!
At Riley's school, there is a small garden area full of trees and flowers. She calls it the "fairy garden." She and her frinds love to go there after school and play with all the "fairies" that live there. She and a few of her friends went earlier this week and were playing happily until Riley, very seriously, ran up to me with some grave news. "Mom," she said, "do you see the dark shadow over there?" "Yes," I said. "The tree is blocking out the sun." Apparently not. "No mom. When a shadow falls over the garden, it means something bad has happened. Yesterday, there were 345 fairies in the fairy garden. Today 100 have gone missing and now we only have 3." Um...you do the math. Something must have happened to all the others. We looked and we looked, but finally had to leave with a heartbroken Riley because her fairies are near extinction. Hopefully the fairies can procreate to get their numbers back up. However, I'm interested to see what happens, since I've been informed there's no such thing as boy fairies.
Riley also has her heart set on being a fashion designer when she grows up if the transformation to fairy doesn't happen relatively soon. She sketches clothes at school all day and brings them home. She even went so far last night as to sketch out a few of her designs and address an envelope to Paris. She plans to mail her designs off to Paris and get an internship at the ripe age of almost seven. I personally think her refusal to fail is pretty awesome!
At the grocery earlier this week, we picked up individually wrapped prunes. My thinking was they are sweet like fruit snacks, but far healthier for the kids. The kids demanded one in the store so I happily distributed one to each. Riley ate hers no sweat and said it was good. Ava looked at it, said, "Uh...you gave me poop," and handed it back. I then returned it to her and said not poop, it's like a fruit snack. In her loudest "inside voice" Ava informed me, "This is not a fruit snack. This is poop in a wrapper. I don't eat poop in a wrapper. Poop goes in the toilet." A) It was hilarious. B) If she knows where it goes, I really wish she'd follow her own instrutctions.
On the same grocery trip, Ava decided she needed the Pop Ice popcicles. You know the ones. Neon colored, long popcicle in a pastic wrapper. Anyway, they come in netted bags. When Ava says net though, it comes out "nut." She then got confused and just started yelling through the store, "I want my nuts in a bag. I WANT my NUTS in A BAG!!!!!!" Oy. I can never go back to that store.
Now, for the most interesting story of the week. This one comes courtesy of "man's best friend," Jake. OH. MY. GOSH. Friday night, he was placed in his crate around midnight when I went to bed. He normally sleeps in there until 6 or 7 when he gets up for the day. Fine. Not too long at all, right? Wrong. When he woke me up Saturday morning, I realized he smelled horrible. I realized the stench was due to him doing his business, both #1 and #2, in his crate. Apparently, he then proceeded to roll in it. When it was clear this was a two part problem, I gave him to Riley on his leash to take out, so I could carry his crate down to hose it off. As Jake bounded down the stairs, he happily tromped poo all over EVER. SINGLE. STAIR. I kept calm through all of this. Fine, I thought. I can handle this. No big. I'll clean it up once I'm done cleaning the crate. So, Ry is taking Jake down, I'm carrying this enormous crate. Somehow, Jake gets loose, trips me, and I drop the dirty crate. It goes END OVER END down the stairs resulting in what I can only describe as a poop explosion. All over the stairs, the walls, the doors, the ceiling!! It was horrible. I didn't even know where to start. I stood, frozen on the stairs half-sobbing while throwing up in my mouth because it was so disgusting and the smell could have knocked me over. Riley's eyes got really big. She quickly snatched Jake's leash and said, "Come on boy. We need to leave. You're about to be dinner." So true kid, so true. Eventually I got everything cleaned up, but if that happens again, Jake will have serious consequences.
Hope everyone has a great weekend!
At Riley's school, there is a small garden area full of trees and flowers. She calls it the "fairy garden." She and her frinds love to go there after school and play with all the "fairies" that live there. She and a few of her friends went earlier this week and were playing happily until Riley, very seriously, ran up to me with some grave news. "Mom," she said, "do you see the dark shadow over there?" "Yes," I said. "The tree is blocking out the sun." Apparently not. "No mom. When a shadow falls over the garden, it means something bad has happened. Yesterday, there were 345 fairies in the fairy garden. Today 100 have gone missing and now we only have 3." Um...you do the math. Something must have happened to all the others. We looked and we looked, but finally had to leave with a heartbroken Riley because her fairies are near extinction. Hopefully the fairies can procreate to get their numbers back up. However, I'm interested to see what happens, since I've been informed there's no such thing as boy fairies.
Riley also has her heart set on being a fashion designer when she grows up if the transformation to fairy doesn't happen relatively soon. She sketches clothes at school all day and brings them home. She even went so far last night as to sketch out a few of her designs and address an envelope to Paris. She plans to mail her designs off to Paris and get an internship at the ripe age of almost seven. I personally think her refusal to fail is pretty awesome!
At the grocery earlier this week, we picked up individually wrapped prunes. My thinking was they are sweet like fruit snacks, but far healthier for the kids. The kids demanded one in the store so I happily distributed one to each. Riley ate hers no sweat and said it was good. Ava looked at it, said, "Uh...you gave me poop," and handed it back. I then returned it to her and said not poop, it's like a fruit snack. In her loudest "inside voice" Ava informed me, "This is not a fruit snack. This is poop in a wrapper. I don't eat poop in a wrapper. Poop goes in the toilet." A) It was hilarious. B) If she knows where it goes, I really wish she'd follow her own instrutctions.
On the same grocery trip, Ava decided she needed the Pop Ice popcicles. You know the ones. Neon colored, long popcicle in a pastic wrapper. Anyway, they come in netted bags. When Ava says net though, it comes out "nut." She then got confused and just started yelling through the store, "I want my nuts in a bag. I WANT my NUTS in A BAG!!!!!!" Oy. I can never go back to that store.
Now, for the most interesting story of the week. This one comes courtesy of "man's best friend," Jake. OH. MY. GOSH. Friday night, he was placed in his crate around midnight when I went to bed. He normally sleeps in there until 6 or 7 when he gets up for the day. Fine. Not too long at all, right? Wrong. When he woke me up Saturday morning, I realized he smelled horrible. I realized the stench was due to him doing his business, both #1 and #2, in his crate. Apparently, he then proceeded to roll in it. When it was clear this was a two part problem, I gave him to Riley on his leash to take out, so I could carry his crate down to hose it off. As Jake bounded down the stairs, he happily tromped poo all over EVER. SINGLE. STAIR. I kept calm through all of this. Fine, I thought. I can handle this. No big. I'll clean it up once I'm done cleaning the crate. So, Ry is taking Jake down, I'm carrying this enormous crate. Somehow, Jake gets loose, trips me, and I drop the dirty crate. It goes END OVER END down the stairs resulting in what I can only describe as a poop explosion. All over the stairs, the walls, the doors, the ceiling!! It was horrible. I didn't even know where to start. I stood, frozen on the stairs half-sobbing while throwing up in my mouth because it was so disgusting and the smell could have knocked me over. Riley's eyes got really big. She quickly snatched Jake's leash and said, "Come on boy. We need to leave. You're about to be dinner." So true kid, so true. Eventually I got everything cleaned up, but if that happens again, Jake will have serious consequences.
Hope everyone has a great weekend!
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Easter Week
This week, the kids have kept me on my toes! We've had a very busy few days with many stories worth sharing. Here's just a few.
We went to lunch with Riley on Friday. We walked in with our nutritious Happy Meals and were excited to see Riley. I forgot that while walking in, Ava was also chewing gum. I quickly remembered when we got up to leave. My feet and shoes were covered in blue gunk! Everywhere I looked, there was more sticky gum. I asked Ava why she spit her gum out on the floor, or more apparently my feet. She told me, "there's nowhere else to put it. I can't put it in the trash can, it might get stuck." Correct my dear Ava, correct. I would have hated for it to get stuck in the trash instead of my foot.
Today Riley was talking to me about a ceratin tree house she wants to build. Evidently, this tree house I am commissioned to build will include a retina scanner, so no unidentieds may enter. I must also build a kitchen, a fire pit, a kitchen, and a fully working bathroom. We discussed why a kitchen or fire pit may not be a good choice in a tree, I'd hate for all my hard work to go up in flames. Then, we discussed why it's not possible to run pipes for plumbing through a tree. Totally dissatisfied with my responses, Riley responded, "Well, atleast I'll have my retina scanner and elevator." I just left it at that. No need to concern her with anymore details.
Then, there's tonight. Tonight, we were scheduled to dye Easter eggs. Tradition, right? I did not plan for the Ava factor. No, no, I'll answer that question right now. She did NOT spill dye all over the kitchen. We did this in a highly controlled setting. However, she did snatch eggs while I was trying to hard boil them. She decided I wasn't moving fast enough, or the eggs looked prime for maximum mess. I don't know. Either way, it happened. She got a yogurt cup, turned it upside down, and decided to get to work. Eggs went EVERYWHERE! She was cracking, and pouring, and mixing, and messing. When I asked her what she was doing, she simply responded, "Making egg soup mom. It's delicious." I stopped her before she tasted her creation.
So, I cleaned up the mess. After that, it was time to actually dye the eggs. I pulled out all the cups. I lined them up. I added the little dye tablets. I turn around to grab the vinegar off the counter. Next thing I know, Ava is inspecting one of the dye tablets. "I bet this is really yummy Mom." NO. no no no no. I snatched it away from her before she turned her insides pink. That was the birth of the controlled dye setting.
Both of the girls are super excited for the Easter Bunny to come tonight. They can't wait to wake up and find all their eggs. I'm sure I will have new posts around this time tomorrow!
We went to lunch with Riley on Friday. We walked in with our nutritious Happy Meals and were excited to see Riley. I forgot that while walking in, Ava was also chewing gum. I quickly remembered when we got up to leave. My feet and shoes were covered in blue gunk! Everywhere I looked, there was more sticky gum. I asked Ava why she spit her gum out on the floor, or more apparently my feet. She told me, "there's nowhere else to put it. I can't put it in the trash can, it might get stuck." Correct my dear Ava, correct. I would have hated for it to get stuck in the trash instead of my foot.
Today Riley was talking to me about a ceratin tree house she wants to build. Evidently, this tree house I am commissioned to build will include a retina scanner, so no unidentieds may enter. I must also build a kitchen, a fire pit, a kitchen, and a fully working bathroom. We discussed why a kitchen or fire pit may not be a good choice in a tree, I'd hate for all my hard work to go up in flames. Then, we discussed why it's not possible to run pipes for plumbing through a tree. Totally dissatisfied with my responses, Riley responded, "Well, atleast I'll have my retina scanner and elevator." I just left it at that. No need to concern her with anymore details.
Then, there's tonight. Tonight, we were scheduled to dye Easter eggs. Tradition, right? I did not plan for the Ava factor. No, no, I'll answer that question right now. She did NOT spill dye all over the kitchen. We did this in a highly controlled setting. However, she did snatch eggs while I was trying to hard boil them. She decided I wasn't moving fast enough, or the eggs looked prime for maximum mess. I don't know. Either way, it happened. She got a yogurt cup, turned it upside down, and decided to get to work. Eggs went EVERYWHERE! She was cracking, and pouring, and mixing, and messing. When I asked her what she was doing, she simply responded, "Making egg soup mom. It's delicious." I stopped her before she tasted her creation.
So, I cleaned up the mess. After that, it was time to actually dye the eggs. I pulled out all the cups. I lined them up. I added the little dye tablets. I turn around to grab the vinegar off the counter. Next thing I know, Ava is inspecting one of the dye tablets. "I bet this is really yummy Mom." NO. no no no no. I snatched it away from her before she turned her insides pink. That was the birth of the controlled dye setting.
Both of the girls are super excited for the Easter Bunny to come tonight. They can't wait to wake up and find all their eggs. I'm sure I will have new posts around this time tomorrow!
Friday, April 15, 2011
I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!
Hi all!
Sorry it's taken so long to update my blog, life got a little bit crazier these past couple weeks. :) I have a mountain of stories, but can't remember them all. So, I'm just going to post as I remember.
As you all know, I had the "honor" of being Cookie Mom for our Girl Scout troop this year. It was a ton of fun, however, I'm not sad for it to be over until next year. It was exhausting! I have now also become a co-troop leader, which is a blast! I get to help plan the meetings and do all sorts of fun crafts and activities with an amazing group of girls. Since becoming a co-troop leader, the other leader and I needed to open a bank account for our troop. She brought her two children to the bank, as did I one day after school. The kids were hyped up from a full day of school and the bank seemed the PERFECT place for them to unleash steam...at least, according to them. While the adults were sitting in a cube filling out paperwork, I just happen to glance up and see a full-sized bank billboard on wheels ZOOMING through the lobby. um...what? I quickly excused myself and found the girls riding the billboard through the lobby with looks of excited glee. I asked them what in the world they thought they were doing. While still pushing with her foot for maximum speed, Riley answered quite frankly, "Mom. We're surfing..." Right..I gathered that. My response, "Riley, do you two REALLY feel like this is the appropriate place for surfing?!?!" (In hushed, frantic, whispered tones I asked). Riley's friend, "Well, this was right here...and it has wheels..." At this point, they are both looking at me like I'm a complete moron because, to them, it made perfect sense. Oy. I finally removed them from their "surfboard" for them to take massive quantities of deposit/withdrawl slips. Not only did they take them, they kept trying to cash them as if they were checks. We couldn't usher those kids out fast enough. I can honestly say, I will never go back to that branch out of respect for them.
The cause of our craziness (more mine than anyone elses) is our new family member! Jake is an adorable 10 week old German Shep/Lab mix. He's sweet, and huge, and lovable, and huge, and....strong. We adopted him through the Collin County Humane Society. I HIGHLY suggest all of you adopt your next pet from them. They have been wonderful! Chad decided he would give himself an early birthday present in the form of this little guy. However, Chad never seems to hear Jake at night as he cries...all night...due tohate of his crate. *Sigh* Did I mention ALL night?? This has to change. STAT. Anyways, we're in love. He's wonderful with the girls too.
We did a bit of shopping today after school. I don't know why I did this with two children instead of while one was still in school. It never ends well. While in Gap, the kids tried to wait patiently while I tried on a few things. However, Ava soon grew bored and wanted to see what was going on in stalls next to her. To her left? Nothing to interesting. She informed me it was just a naked lady. (Please keep in mind while Ava was peaking, I was desperately trying to stop her. The fact that employees get a kick out of smashing all three of us into a small dressing room with no room to move, I'll never understand.) So, with face smashed against the mirror due to such close quarters, Ava tries to peak under the other side of the stall. A little boy on the other side was ready for her. She poked her head under and he yelled "HEEEEEEYYYYY!" It scared her to death. We quickly had to leave the store.
Ok, that's enough for now. When I remember more stories I will post them.
Sorry it's taken so long to update my blog, life got a little bit crazier these past couple weeks. :) I have a mountain of stories, but can't remember them all. So, I'm just going to post as I remember.
As you all know, I had the "honor" of being Cookie Mom for our Girl Scout troop this year. It was a ton of fun, however, I'm not sad for it to be over until next year. It was exhausting! I have now also become a co-troop leader, which is a blast! I get to help plan the meetings and do all sorts of fun crafts and activities with an amazing group of girls. Since becoming a co-troop leader, the other leader and I needed to open a bank account for our troop. She brought her two children to the bank, as did I one day after school. The kids were hyped up from a full day of school and the bank seemed the PERFECT place for them to unleash steam...at least, according to them. While the adults were sitting in a cube filling out paperwork, I just happen to glance up and see a full-sized bank billboard on wheels ZOOMING through the lobby. um...what? I quickly excused myself and found the girls riding the billboard through the lobby with looks of excited glee. I asked them what in the world they thought they were doing. While still pushing with her foot for maximum speed, Riley answered quite frankly, "Mom. We're surfing..." Right..I gathered that. My response, "Riley, do you two REALLY feel like this is the appropriate place for surfing?!?!" (In hushed, frantic, whispered tones I asked). Riley's friend, "Well, this was right here...and it has wheels..." At this point, they are both looking at me like I'm a complete moron because, to them, it made perfect sense. Oy. I finally removed them from their "surfboard" for them to take massive quantities of deposit/withdrawl slips. Not only did they take them, they kept trying to cash them as if they were checks. We couldn't usher those kids out fast enough. I can honestly say, I will never go back to that branch out of respect for them.
The cause of our craziness (more mine than anyone elses) is our new family member! Jake is an adorable 10 week old German Shep/Lab mix. He's sweet, and huge, and lovable, and huge, and....strong. We adopted him through the Collin County Humane Society. I HIGHLY suggest all of you adopt your next pet from them. They have been wonderful! Chad decided he would give himself an early birthday present in the form of this little guy. However, Chad never seems to hear Jake at night as he cries...all night...due to
We did a bit of shopping today after school. I don't know why I did this with two children instead of while one was still in school. It never ends well. While in Gap, the kids tried to wait patiently while I tried on a few things. However, Ava soon grew bored and wanted to see what was going on in stalls next to her. To her left? Nothing to interesting. She informed me it was just a naked lady. (Please keep in mind while Ava was peaking, I was desperately trying to stop her. The fact that employees get a kick out of smashing all three of us into a small dressing room with no room to move, I'll never understand.) So, with face smashed against the mirror due to such close quarters, Ava tries to peak under the other side of the stall. A little boy on the other side was ready for her. She poked her head under and he yelled "HEEEEEEYYYYY!" It scared her to death. We quickly had to leave the store.
Ok, that's enough for now. When I remember more stories I will post them.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Just Another Day in Paradise
So, I'm two days late in posting for the week. Bear with me. I'm in the midst of studying for a foreign policy midterm. It's sucking the life from me. In addition to that, I've taken over being a troop leader for an awesome group of girl scouts. That being said...here's the post. ;) OH! And if you people are just reading my blog and aren't "followers," stroke my ego. Become a follower. It's good for my soul.
Friday, as usual, Ava and I went to lunch with Riley. We only get thirty minutes to eat with her, so I try to devote as much of that time to her as possible. In continuance of her revolt against potty training, promptly as we sat down to eat, Ava had an accident. I had no extra clothes, and I didn't want to leave lunch because by the time I went home, changed Ava, and came back, Ry's lunch would be over. Another mom at the table offered me wet wipes to clean up Ava. Like an idiot, I looked at her. What am I supposed to do with wet wipes? We clearly had enough moisture at the moment. So what does mama McCready do? *sigh* I go into the lunch line, grab a wide of napkins, come back to the table, clean up the mess, and then just look at my child. I had no clue what to do from there. SO, I did the only reasonable thing really. I shoved school napkins down my child's pants so she could finish her lunch in relative peace. Poor Ava, we walked out of that school with half a roll of paper towels pushed down her pants. She looked a mess.
Yesterday, the girls and I went to Target. Not so out of the ordinary, right? We stocked up on things that had become lost: socks, underwear, etc. I just tossed the bag on top of the kitchen counter and didn't think twice about it. Tonight, I turned on the oven to cook some sweet potato fries and asparagus, and the next thing I know, the bag is burning! I must be a liar liar because my pants were on fire. Fear not. The fire/smoking/plastic bag burning onto the burner was dealt with with relative ease. Looks like we're going back to Target in the near future.
In starting this blog, I've realized my posts sound a lot like the beginning of a Becky Bloomwood book. They may even sound a lot like Bridget Jones just minus the cool accent. However, I will not solve all my problems in the next 250 pages. I'm just chuggin along doing the best I can, hoping people enjoy my stories along the way. ;)
Friday, as usual, Ava and I went to lunch with Riley. We only get thirty minutes to eat with her, so I try to devote as much of that time to her as possible. In continuance of her revolt against potty training, promptly as we sat down to eat, Ava had an accident. I had no extra clothes, and I didn't want to leave lunch because by the time I went home, changed Ava, and came back, Ry's lunch would be over. Another mom at the table offered me wet wipes to clean up Ava. Like an idiot, I looked at her. What am I supposed to do with wet wipes? We clearly had enough moisture at the moment. So what does mama McCready do? *sigh* I go into the lunch line, grab a wide of napkins, come back to the table, clean up the mess, and then just look at my child. I had no clue what to do from there. SO, I did the only reasonable thing really. I shoved school napkins down my child's pants so she could finish her lunch in relative peace. Poor Ava, we walked out of that school with half a roll of paper towels pushed down her pants. She looked a mess.
Yesterday, the girls and I went to Target. Not so out of the ordinary, right? We stocked up on things that had become lost: socks, underwear, etc. I just tossed the bag on top of the kitchen counter and didn't think twice about it. Tonight, I turned on the oven to cook some sweet potato fries and asparagus, and the next thing I know, the bag is burning! I must be a liar liar because my pants were on fire. Fear not. The fire/smoking/plastic bag burning onto the burner was dealt with with relative ease. Looks like we're going back to Target in the near future.
In starting this blog, I've realized my posts sound a lot like the beginning of a Becky Bloomwood book. They may even sound a lot like Bridget Jones just minus the cool accent. However, I will not solve all my problems in the next 250 pages. I'm just chuggin along doing the best I can, hoping people enjoy my stories along the way. ;)
Sunday, February 27, 2011
A week of Confusion, Chaos, and (almost) Catastrophic Injuries
This week's post is centered around the half-pint, Miss Ava. She's had a VERY busy week.
Chad came home from work to Ava demanding he play Barbies with her. I'm sure we aren't the only house, but our Barbies have no clothes. Sometimes they don't have heads either. Ava gave Chad his Barbie and told him to start playing. The conversation went as follows:
Chad's Barbie: Hi Barbie. I haven't seen you around lately. Where have you been?
Ava's Barbie: Uhhh...I had a baby.
Chad: OH really?
Ava: Yeah. It's yours.
*Pause for laughter at the McCready house*
Chad: Hey, why doesn't my Barbie have any clothes?
Ava: Mine's naked too!(pause) Let's hug.
Chad: I don't feel very comfortable hugging you. We really need clothes.
Ava: Come on. Let's go play naked together.
Chad: (hands back Barbie) I really can't play with you anymore.
*Pause for the entire McCready house plus our friend Sarah P. to DIE from laughing.
The best part about this exchange was that in Ava's head, three different conversations were going on with this Barbie. The thoughts she had weren't related in anyway. It's just the way that it all happened to come out that made it so funny.
About 45 minutes to an hour after that, IT happened. When Riley was little, she was cautious, and thought things through before acting. Ava prefers to act first, apologize second. I was trying to get her in some jammies right before bed. In trying to escape by grasp, she tripped and smashed right into the corner of our bar. Chad, Sarah P., and I all huddled around her waiting to see the location of the injury. She stood up with a mouth full of blood and a scream to shatter glass.
Once we stopped the bleeding, we debated as to whether this was ER worthy or not. I know, I know, the mouth heals super fast, saliva kills germs, birdie, birdie, bir, HOWEVER-her lip got stuck on a tooth and the tooth ripped her mouth 6 kinds of nasty. So, Chad looks at it. Says take her to the ER. Sarah P. looks at it. Say's she probably wouldn't take her in. Sarah P.'s mom is sent a photo. P.'s mom says don't take her in. THEN my parents get in on it too. They COME OVER to check out this injury. Please let me remind you, in my house was the four of us, plus P., plus her daughter, plus a friggin stupid amount of girl scout cookies. It was a damn circus. Mom and Dad arrive. Take her in, they say. For heck's sake. Fine. Off we go to the After Hours Pediatrician.
Nurses in the front tell me, "Oh no, we never stitch the inside of the mouth. It heals so fast." I'm aware. Just check my kid please and thank you. The doctor comes in the room and FREAKS OUT. "Oh no! Oh no! I don't do stitches inside the mouth! Oh no! I've never done stitches inside the mouth! Oh no! You have to take her to the ER right now!" Ok...so I'm confused. Do I take the nurse's advice or the doctor's who appeared to be new to life? Off to Children's Hospital we go.
Thank goodness P. met me at the hospital. I was in outer space at that moment. Everytime I thought about Ava having the inside of her mouth sewn back together, I got a little dizzy. During triage the nurse simply looked at it and said, "Hunh. I'll be." I'll be what?!?!?!?! Was she thinking, "I'll be, this mom is wasting my time." Or was she thinking, "I'll be! That kids mouth is about to fall off!!!!!" This nurse did little to comfort me. Finally saw a doc. He barely glanced at Ava's mouth. He simply said, "They'll give her a popsicle. Go home." Great. Ok.
Ava's mouth already looks a ton better! It's healing and several of the more minor injuries inside her mouth are almost completely healed.
So, just another week at the crazy McCready house!
Chad came home from work to Ava demanding he play Barbies with her. I'm sure we aren't the only house, but our Barbies have no clothes. Sometimes they don't have heads either. Ava gave Chad his Barbie and told him to start playing. The conversation went as follows:
Chad's Barbie: Hi Barbie. I haven't seen you around lately. Where have you been?
Ava's Barbie: Uhhh...I had a baby.
Chad: OH really?
Ava: Yeah. It's yours.
*Pause for laughter at the McCready house*
Chad: Hey, why doesn't my Barbie have any clothes?
Ava: Mine's naked too!(pause) Let's hug.
Chad: I don't feel very comfortable hugging you. We really need clothes.
Ava: Come on. Let's go play naked together.
Chad: (hands back Barbie) I really can't play with you anymore.
*Pause for the entire McCready house plus our friend Sarah P. to DIE from laughing.
The best part about this exchange was that in Ava's head, three different conversations were going on with this Barbie. The thoughts she had weren't related in anyway. It's just the way that it all happened to come out that made it so funny.
About 45 minutes to an hour after that, IT happened. When Riley was little, she was cautious, and thought things through before acting. Ava prefers to act first, apologize second. I was trying to get her in some jammies right before bed. In trying to escape by grasp, she tripped and smashed right into the corner of our bar. Chad, Sarah P., and I all huddled around her waiting to see the location of the injury. She stood up with a mouth full of blood and a scream to shatter glass.
Once we stopped the bleeding, we debated as to whether this was ER worthy or not. I know, I know, the mouth heals super fast, saliva kills germs, birdie, birdie, bir, HOWEVER-her lip got stuck on a tooth and the tooth ripped her mouth 6 kinds of nasty. So, Chad looks at it. Says take her to the ER. Sarah P. looks at it. Say's she probably wouldn't take her in. Sarah P.'s mom is sent a photo. P.'s mom says don't take her in. THEN my parents get in on it too. They COME OVER to check out this injury. Please let me remind you, in my house was the four of us, plus P., plus her daughter, plus a friggin stupid amount of girl scout cookies. It was a damn circus. Mom and Dad arrive. Take her in, they say. For heck's sake. Fine. Off we go to the After Hours Pediatrician.
Nurses in the front tell me, "Oh no, we never stitch the inside of the mouth. It heals so fast." I'm aware. Just check my kid please and thank you. The doctor comes in the room and FREAKS OUT. "Oh no! Oh no! I don't do stitches inside the mouth! Oh no! I've never done stitches inside the mouth! Oh no! You have to take her to the ER right now!" Ok...so I'm confused. Do I take the nurse's advice or the doctor's who appeared to be new to life? Off to Children's Hospital we go.
Thank goodness P. met me at the hospital. I was in outer space at that moment. Everytime I thought about Ava having the inside of her mouth sewn back together, I got a little dizzy. During triage the nurse simply looked at it and said, "Hunh. I'll be." I'll be what?!?!?!?! Was she thinking, "I'll be, this mom is wasting my time." Or was she thinking, "I'll be! That kids mouth is about to fall off!!!!!" This nurse did little to comfort me. Finally saw a doc. He barely glanced at Ava's mouth. He simply said, "They'll give her a popsicle. Go home." Great. Ok.
Ava's mouth already looks a ton better! It's healing and several of the more minor injuries inside her mouth are almost completely healed.
So, just another week at the crazy McCready house!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
This week was a relatively quiet one. Mommy was sick which means the kids had free reign for a couple days.
Ava's highlight of the week: While eating dinner, mouth full of food, she mumbles something which sounds suspiciously malicious. I asked her to repeat it, and she looked at me, straight faced, and said, "I'm gonna kill you and stuff you in that trash can." Well....okay. Needless to say, not only am I now monitoring what shows Riley has turned on throughout the day, I'm also sleeping with one eye open.
NOTE TO PARENTS OF RILEY'S FRIENDS: I'm sad to report that, no, Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, and Kesha will not be coming to her birthday party. Apparently all of first grade has been informed they are. Also parents, if Riley bites your child, no, they will not be turning into a vampire within 24-48 hours. Again, this would be contrary to what she has been telling your children.
Another note: People, get your girl scout cookies from me. I'm tired of looking at them. If you continue to ignore my texts, calls, and borderline stalker activities to try and hand them off to you, I will be eating your cookies and yes, you will still be paying for them.
Oh! Another note: Makers of Toyota: While you may have originally thought that a cool safety feature for the car would be to disable the unlock buttons if keys are locked in the trunk, you were deceived. It is in fact, not cool. Not cool at all.
Ava's highlight of the week: While eating dinner, mouth full of food, she mumbles something which sounds suspiciously malicious. I asked her to repeat it, and she looked at me, straight faced, and said, "I'm gonna kill you and stuff you in that trash can." Well....okay. Needless to say, not only am I now monitoring what shows Riley has turned on throughout the day, I'm also sleeping with one eye open.
NOTE TO PARENTS OF RILEY'S FRIENDS: I'm sad to report that, no, Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, and Kesha will not be coming to her birthday party. Apparently all of first grade has been informed they are. Also parents, if Riley bites your child, no, they will not be turning into a vampire within 24-48 hours. Again, this would be contrary to what she has been telling your children.
Another note: People, get your girl scout cookies from me. I'm tired of looking at them. If you continue to ignore my texts, calls, and borderline stalker activities to try and hand them off to you, I will be eating your cookies and yes, you will still be paying for them.
Oh! Another note: Makers of Toyota: While you may have originally thought that a cool safety feature for the car would be to disable the unlock buttons if keys are locked in the trunk, you were deceived. It is in fact, not cool. Not cool at all.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
This week has been...educational
This week has been by far one of the most educational and eye-opening for all persons in the McCready family. We'll start with the smallest of the us and work up from there.
Ava discovered that if she shoves a glow stick far enough up her nose, yes, yes indeed, it will bleed. A lot. The science experiment was then continued by examining what would happen upon breaking said glowstick. It was noted that when the glowstick broke and then eyes were rubbed, her mother was able to string a significant amount of "traffic words" together very quickly and rush her to the bathroom. Ava then learned that her mother does in fact reach her breaking point when she adds to the cocktail of chaos by squirting an entire tube of toothpaste all over the bathroom and pooping on the floor. These findings, I'm sure have been recorded in the journal of scientific fact.
This week, Riley decided to experiment with playing hide and seek in a suitcase. It's all fun and games until someone gets claustraphobic. Ignoring repeated warnings from her mother, Riley stuffed herself into a suitcase and allowed Ava to zip her in it. All was well until it was realized that Ava was not strong enough to wheel her through the house, but merely strong enough to dump the suitcase over and sit on it. These findings, I'm sure, have been recorded in the Tinkerbell diary.
My eyes were opened on Saturday to the depth of what being a "cookie mom" for Girls Scouts actually entails. Work. A lot of work. I will post a picture for reference. Sadly, over half those cookies had to stay at my house because they're Riley's.
Finally, my dear Chad learned that if you grumble enough that something is broken and can't be fixed, your wife will prove you wrong. 1) You're welcome Chad. I was happy to fix your PS3. 2) Thank you Yahoo answers for making me appear smarter than I am. He also learned that his two FEMALE children have a wide range of emotions. I received a call while running away/grocery shopping alone today informing me that I needed to get home because the children were having "too many emotions." Translation: The kids won't quit whining and I'm out of cookies to bribe them to knock it off.
All in all, it was an eventful week here on the homefront. I'm ready for this one to be done and another to begin. :)
Ava discovered that if she shoves a glow stick far enough up her nose, yes, yes indeed, it will bleed. A lot. The science experiment was then continued by examining what would happen upon breaking said glowstick. It was noted that when the glowstick broke and then eyes were rubbed, her mother was able to string a significant amount of "traffic words" together very quickly and rush her to the bathroom. Ava then learned that her mother does in fact reach her breaking point when she adds to the cocktail of chaos by squirting an entire tube of toothpaste all over the bathroom and pooping on the floor. These findings, I'm sure have been recorded in the journal of scientific fact.
This week, Riley decided to experiment with playing hide and seek in a suitcase. It's all fun and games until someone gets claustraphobic. Ignoring repeated warnings from her mother, Riley stuffed herself into a suitcase and allowed Ava to zip her in it. All was well until it was realized that Ava was not strong enough to wheel her through the house, but merely strong enough to dump the suitcase over and sit on it. These findings, I'm sure, have been recorded in the Tinkerbell diary.
My eyes were opened on Saturday to the depth of what being a "cookie mom" for Girls Scouts actually entails. Work. A lot of work. I will post a picture for reference. Sadly, over half those cookies had to stay at my house because they're Riley's.
Finally, my dear Chad learned that if you grumble enough that something is broken and can't be fixed, your wife will prove you wrong. 1) You're welcome Chad. I was happy to fix your PS3. 2) Thank you Yahoo answers for making me appear smarter than I am. He also learned that his two FEMALE children have a wide range of emotions. I received a call while running away/grocery shopping alone today informing me that I needed to get home because the children were having "too many emotions." Translation: The kids won't quit whining and I'm out of cookies to bribe them to knock it off.
All in all, it was an eventful week here on the homefront. I'm ready for this one to be done and another to begin. :)
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Blog-a-palooza
Ok! So, after convincing from multiple parties...HERE.IS.MY.BLOG!!! This will chronicle the ridiculous hilarity that is my life! Feel free to leave your comments and ask your questions. However, please do not ask my opinion unless you really want to know. For example, don't ask my opinion of Sarah Palin. Number 1, it will probably differ from yours and number 2, I will probably offend you. So, that's it. Get ready to enjoy!
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